I watch more dating shows than I probably should, and at this point, you generally know what you’re signing up for. There will be a gimmick, plenty of manufactured drama and at least a few contestants who seem to understand that finding love is only one potential benefit of being on television. That’s part of what makes “Love on the Spectrum” such a welcome exception.
The Netflix series, now in its fourth U.S. season, follows autistic adults looking for love, many of whom have had little or no previous dating experience. There is an earnestness to watching someone prepare for a first date, worry about what to say or try to figure out whether the person sitting across from them might actually like them. Those moments can be funny and awkward, but the show never seems to be laughing at the people involved. Over four seasons, that sincerity has made “Love on the Spectrum” one of my personal favorites in the genre.
There is also something increasingly valuable about simply getting to know the people on the show. At a time when diversity on television isn’t always embraced, “Love on the Spectrum” gives viewers time with neurodivergent people they might otherwise never encounter in their daily lives. It broadens what audiences understand about autism while showing some of the unique challenges its cast members can face in pursuing something as basic to the human experience as companionship and love.
Creator Cian O’Clery first began thinking about those challenges while working on an Australian documentary series about people with disabilities looking for employment. As he got to know autistic young adults through that project, he discovered many were just as interested in finding someone to date, but there were far fewer resources available to help them navigate that part of their lives. That experience, combined with his previous work on reality dating shows, eventually led to “Love on the Spectrum.”
O’Clery has also been careful not to define participants by where they fall on the spectrum. He describes “Love on the Spectrum” as a character-led series, allowing viewers to get to know each person rather than approaching them through a diagnosis. “We’re telling Logan’s story. We’re telling Dylan’s story,” O’Clery tells Awards Focus. “It’s about people individually and what their story is. I think that goes beyond categorizing.” That philosophy extends to the matchmaking. Instead of pairing people because they might produce good television, the team searches for people who could genuinely connect. “We’re not looking to mismatch people or create drama and conflict from a match,” he says. “We’re just looking for people who we hope will get along.”
That approach continues to resonate with audiences and Emmy voters. Season 4 received five Emmy nominations, including Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program, Directing for a Reality Program, Casting for a Reality Program, Cinematography for a Reality Program and Picture Editing for an Unstructured Reality Program. O’Clery is recognized as an executive producer on the series nomination and is individually nominated for directing, casting and cinematography. His presence across so many categories also reflects just how hands-on he remains with the production, often directing while operating one of the cameras himself.
Awards Focus spoke with O’Clery about the origins of “Love on the Spectrum,” what he has learned from the autistic community and the unusually personal approach his team takes to casting and matchmaking. He also discussed why he continues to shoot the series himself, how the production avoids manufacturing conflict, the impact the show has had on its cast members and whether “Love on the Spectrum” could eventually expand to other countries.
Awards Focus: “Love on the Spectrum” has received several nominations, and you’re personally recognized for directing, casting and cinematography. When you’re working on the show, are you thinking about all three simultaneously, or do those roles become separate in your mind?
Cian O’Clery: No, I think it all just kind of becomes one, really. It’s the way I’ve worked for a long time, even back in the early days when I was working on shows in Australia. I did some shows where I was the only crew member. There was a show called “Outback Truckers,” which was following truck drivers, and it was just me. So I was doing camera, sound, directing, everything.
I really love shooting. I really enjoy it, so it’s hard for me to let that go. I think when you make shows like this, the intimacy and the small footprint are really important. It actually helps with what we’re capturing just to have a smaller team.
It is busy and stressful, and it’s probably harder on my field producers than it should be because I’m having to get their attention when I’m holding a shot. But overall, hopefully it’s a good thing, even though it causes a little more stress than it needs to.
AF: Before we get into the recent season, how did “Love on the Spectrum” first come about? Did you have a personal connection to the autistic community at the time?
O’Clery: I actually didn’t. Sometimes I feel like, “Oh no, I’m a fraud. I shouldn’t be making this because I didn’t have a connection originally.”
The first documentary series I directed was about mental health. It was an observational vérité series in a mental health unit in a hospital that was on our public broadcaster. I did two seasons of that. I think because of the way it was handled, the sensitivity that was needed and the way I worked with the participants we were filming, they asked me to do another series about people with disabilities looking for work.
During the making of that, I really started to get to know the autistic population, especially young adults, because we were talking to a lot of people who were looking for employment and having trouble with that.
We just kept hearing so many stories from people that, sure, they wanted a job, but they kind of wanted to date more than they wanted to find a job. There was this social element of dating and finding love that hadn’t really happened yet for a lot of the people we were meeting.
There wasn’t any support in that area, whereas for employment, there were a lot of disability employment services in Australia. But there wasn’t really any support for something that’s such a crucial part of our lives.
That was the inspiration, really. We were meeting all these wonderful people with very diverse experiences. I think what greater society thought about autism was quite narrow, so having met so many different people and seeing this real diversity within the spectrum itself felt like something interesting to explore.
I had also worked on dating shows in the past, quite a few different reality dating shows, and I’d always wanted to make something in that space that was real and authentic and not just following Instagram models on islands. I guess all those things converged, and that’s how we got started.
AF: The series deliberately avoids categorizing people by their diagnosis or level of support needs. Instead, we simply get to know them as individuals. Why was that important to you?
O’Clery: I guess that’s kind of the whole point of the show, to help audiences understand that you can’t assume something about somebody because of the diagnosis.
That has definitely become the point of it now that we’re multiple seasons in and it’s become such a big success. There’s a responsibility that comes with it that was unexpected, but it’s there and we have to understand that.
It’s really about the way we tell the stories. We’re not telling somebody’s story as “a man on the spectrum with medium support needs in Vegas.” We’re telling Logan’s story. We’re telling Dylan’s story. It’s a character-led series. It’s about people individually and what their story is. I think that goes beyond categorizing.
I also remembered something about my own experience with neurodiversity. I was diagnosed with ADHD during the process of making the show, which is sort of in the same family. When I started making the employment show and was talking to young autistic adults, they would tell me about their sensitivities and what autism meant to them, and there were a lot of similarities for me. People would say, “I can’t handle balloons. I can’t stand loud noise.” They get really sensitive to light.
Even though I didn’t know a lot about it, I suddenly realized there was this world of things that I related to a lot as well.
In terms of diversity, it’s important to represent as much of a range of experiences as we can, obviously within the group of people who want to date and are actively out there wanting to find love. But we don’t necessarily say, “Okay, let’s tick the boxes here.” It’s all based on the people who come in, the people we meet and the people we fall in love with, really.
AF: How does the casting process actually work?
O’Clery: The first season is always the hardest with something like this. In Australia, it was tough trying to explain what we were doing and make people comfortable with it.
In the U.S., we were lucky that the Australian series had already aired, so people knew what the show was going to be and how we were going to tell the stories. People were comfortable.
We put the word out any way we can. Basically, “This is what we’re doing. If anyone is interested, write to us.” Then we go from there and reach out to people. Autism organizations, groups, support groups and individuals have been incredibly supportive.
It’s very rare that we get a no when we ask people to share and spread the word. As the series has become more popular, we have to be a bit more careful about putting the word out because otherwise we get completely overwhelmed and can’t manage the number of people who write in.
It’s a shame that there are so many people looking for love, but it’s also nice that so many people want us to tell their stories and are comfortable with us telling them.
AF: Most reality shows are built around conflict or extreme moments. With this series, you clearly don’t want to exploit someone for those moments. What guides you in deciding what to show and when to pull back?
O’Clery: We don’t necessarily have rules or guidelines. It’s just that we all care about the people whose stories we’re filming. We actually like them, and we want what’s best for them. We want them to be happy with how their story is told.
It’s really that gut feeling of, “Is this okay? Is this not okay?”
At the end of the day, we still have to make something people want to watch, and it still has to be entertaining. That’s a challenge sometimes when you’re making a show that doesn’t have conflict and drama isn’t what drives viewership.
We’re really lucky that we’re making a show that people are embracing without that. It’s kind of amazing that people continue to watch and we don’t have that.
Luckily, dating is a world where you have an inherent narrative of “will they, won’t they?” The other thing that keeps people coming back is that we cast wonderful individuals who are really unique, whose stories people want to follow and who they want to support.
It’s interesting because when I watch other reality shows, I’m in a different frame of mind too. I want the conflict. I want the drama. So it’s interesting to have this kind of show that is watched in a different way.
AF: On some of those first dates, nerves are clearly high. Do producers ever need to intervene or help someone through the experience?
O’Clery: There’s not a lot of intervention from us. Obviously, I’m always there behind the camera if people have any questions. Everyone knows that if they’re having a rough time, they can have a timeout and we’re not going to chase them down the road with a camera.
What has surprised me from the beginning, and still continues to impress me, is how comfortable our cast have been with cameras following them on their first-ever date.
I’ve tried to work out what it is over the years and talked to various people about it. I think we’re kind of a support system. They’re not being thrown into this world of dating for the first time on their own. The fact that we’re there almost helps in a weird way because they’re not just on their own. We’re helping organize things, and if things go wrong, they know they can come and talk to us.
People have really done well with it. It’s actually a lot less common than you would expect that people need a timeout. It’s pretty amazing.
AF: We don’t see much of the matchmaking process behind the scenes. Who is involved in identifying potential couples?
O’Clery: That’s me and the producing team. The producing team is also the casting team, and that’s how we’ve always done it. It really works for us.
Often, the very first person somebody ever speaks to from the moment they apply to be on the show ends up being the person working with them in the field along with me. We get to know them really well.
Once we’ve cast our main participants, that’s when we really start to dive into who we think would be a good match. It’s gut feeling. There’s no science to it.
We have lots of debates in the office about who we think would work and the positives and negatives of different people matching with someone, but it’s always guided by the main participant and what they want. That’s the first step: What are you looking for? What are you hoping for?
Sometimes their family can weigh in and have some good intel. After that, it’s us thinking, “Who is on a similar wavelength? Do they have some common interests? Do we think they’ll get on? Do we think they might be attracted to each other?”
At the end of the day, the most important thing is: Could they potentially even be friends? That’s the first step. The amount of friendships and social circles that have been created for the cast on the show is incredible. Their social worlds have changed completely.
AF: Are there qualities that become especially important when you’re looking for a potential match?
O’Clery: I don’t think you can say definitively because everyone is so different. We might be working with a cast member who has very low support needs and wants to date neurotypical people, so that’s going to be completely different from someone who has higher support needs and maybe wants to date someone who has Down syndrome, is on the spectrum or has an intellectual disability.
It’s hard to generalize like that.
What we look for is just nice people. I don’t want to match someone with somebody who feels mean. We cast nice people, and we’re finding matches who are nice people. That’s probably the most simple, basic version of it.
Honesty is important. That’s one thing I would say if I were to make a generalization, even though everyone is different. Honesty is a big one.
AF: Because you’re operating the camera while directing, do you think you see something through the lens that you might miss if you were simply watching from a monitor?
O’Clery: I haven’t really thought too much about it. Firstly, I guess there’s the fact that I’m going to be closer.
We do try to stay back, especially on dates. We’ll shoot on longer lenses. But when we’re shooting in someone’s house, we’re fairly close.
I tend to try to be on the main participant generally because I think that helps me understand what they’re going through, what’s happening with them and what they’re thinking and feeling.
I don’t really have an answer to that, but there’s probably something in it. My main thing is that keeping a really small crew helps and just having fewer people around.
AF: What reactions to the series, particularly from autistic viewers and their families, have meant the most to you?
O’Clery: Whenever the show comes out, the amount of messages I get on social media is insane. There’s this outpouring of emotion about the show.
Often it’s people who are autistic themselves who have been inspired by the show to start their own journey, or parents saying something similar. It’s quite amazing, the stories you hear.
I love hearing about programs that have been started within autism organizations to help people with dating and relationships because of the show. There’s a dating app that was launched because of the show. A fellow Australian moved to America and launched an app because she loved the show and saw something in helping that population find love.
Whether it’s Christine, Abby’s mom, telling me how much it’s changed their lives and Abby’s life, or Lise telling me how much we’ve changed Connor’s life by being part of the show, that stuff is really powerful.
You don’t really understand it until you’re told that people’s lives have changed. It’s wonderful to be able to help people who have seen themselves as invisible and felt invisible suddenly be appreciated and admired by so many people.
The cast have had such a great time being appreciated for who they are. It doesn’t go to their heads. It’s not that they love fame. They’re being appreciated for being themselves, which is what we try to represent in the show. It’s just them being their authentic selves.
AF: As the show has become more popular, you now have participants like Madison who were inspired by previous cast members. Does having fans of the series applying change how you approach casting?
O’Clery: It’s still important to us that we cast people who genuinely want to find love and don’t want to come on the show because they want to be on TV.
Madison is just so genuine and herself and honest. That’s a great story because it literally was Abby and David’s story that inspired Madison to even want to find love. Not to come on the show, but to actually want to look for love.
It just so happened that then we found her, or she found us, and we talked and got to the point of filming with her.
Dylan is a big TV fan, and he knows the show really well and loves it. It’s interesting now to have fans of the show on the show, but we try our best to make sure we’re not asking people to be part of it who just want to be on TV. They actually want to find love, and we feel they’re going to be completely honest and themselves rather than trying to present some version of themselves.
AF: The series has produced genuine relationships and strong friendships. Why do you think your matchmaking seems to work when so many dating shows struggle to create lasting connections?
O’Clery: I don’t know if we are more successful or not. There are definitely really strong friendships and some amazing relationships, whether they’re short relationships or longer relationships.
A lot of the people on our show are dating for the very first time, so for their first date or first couple of dates to lead to a relationship is pretty amazing.
Part of it may be that our casting process is very robust and continuous. I think with a lot of shows, you have a casting company that comes in, they have their set time, they do their casting, you get the people and then you start the show.
We are always casting. We’ll learn something about someone and think, “Hang on, maybe this sort of person is probably better.” We don’t stop. I’ve always got someone still working on casting while we’re filming the show.
We’ve even had main participants come into the email inbox halfway through filming and end up becoming main cast members.
I think that probably has something to do with it. We’re always open, and we’re never locked. We don’t say, “Okay, this is how it has to stay.” Being really flexible helps.
We’re also genuinely looking for matches. We’re not looking to mismatch people or create drama and conflict from a match. We’re just looking for people who we hope will get along.
AF: Audiences become very attached to the cast. How do you balance introducing new people each season with continuing the stories of participants viewers already know and love?
O’Clery: Every time we start to think about a new season, we have to weigh all the pros and cons. Whose story do we think is still going strong? Whose story do we think would be really great to continue to include?
It’s a hard one. The hardest part is not bringing people back because most times people want to come back, and we can’t continue to just have the same people.
We think it’s really important to have new people every season and continue introducing audiences to new people. It’s tricky. It’s really tough.
But I think we’ve found the right balance. It’s kind of a half-and-half thing. I can’t say what’s happening in Season 5, but again, we’re continuing with that same idea that we’ll introduce a couple of new people and continue to tell some of the stories.
It really depends on where everyone is at, and then we have to make some tough decisions as well.
AF: Netflix has expanded shows like “Love Is Blind” into different countries. If they wanted more international versions of “Love on the Spectrum,” is that something you would embrace?
O’Clery: It’s something that hasn’t necessarily come up yet. I think myself, Corina and Northern Pictures would be open to it, for sure.
It would really be about who was taking it on, which country it was, which production company and what kind of shows they had made before.
We’re very much documentary people, so I think you would want that. I’ve got this interesting mix of reality and documentary that probably helped inform the show and make it what it is.
We’d totally be open to it. I think it would just be about finding the right partners to make it.