Jonathan Tropper has built much of his career around a simple observation: middle age rarely arrives the way we imagine it will. It’s one of the reasons director and executive producer Stephanie Laing has become such a natural creative partner. Dating back to their collaboration on “Banshee,” the two have repeatedly found themselves drawn to stories about people confronting uncomfortable questions about identity, family, aging, and reinvention. That’s precisely what makes Apple TV+’s “Your Friends & Neighbors” feel so distinctly theirs. The series may be built around theft, secrets, and increasingly outrageous behavior among the wealthy residents of Westmont Village, but beneath the crime story lies something far more relatable.
Recently renewed for a third season, “Your Friends & Neighbors” stars Jon Hamm as Andrew “Coop” Cooper, a disgraced hedge fund manager whose financial collapse leads him into an unlikely second career robbing his affluent neighbors. Surrounding him is one of television’s strongest ensembles, including Amanda Peet as his ex-wife Mel, Olivia Munn as Samantha Levitt, Hoon Lee as Barney Choi, Aimee Carrero as Elena Benavides, Eunice Bae as Grace Choi, and James Marsden as the wealthy and increasingly volatile Paul Levitt. Together, they inhabit a world of country clubs, sprawling estates, and seemingly limitless privilege, while wrestling with many of the same fears and uncertainties facing audiences at home.
For Laing, that balance between heightened drama and emotional truth has become central to the show’s identity. After directing three episodes during the first season—including the boys’ night out episode that spawned Jon Hamm’s now meme-worthy dance sequence—her role expanded significantly in Season 2. Now serving as both director and executive producer, she helmed six episodes, including the season premiere, the emotionally devastating funeral episode, and the final two installments. As she tells Awards Focus, the show’s success comes from staying grounded in the emotional reality of its characters, no matter how absurd their decisions become.
That philosophy is perhaps best represented in Episode 6, which follows Coop after the death of his father. On paper, it is a surprising detour for a series that frequently features break-ins, blackmail, and criminal schemes. In execution, it may be the season’s most important hour. Laing deliberately approached the episode as an exploration of masculine grief, shooting much of it from Coop’s perspective and stripping away many of the stylistic comforts associated with the show’s glossy world. The result is an intimate portrait of loss that allows viewers to see a side of Coop rarely visible elsewhere. “That episode lets us see Coop with his walls down in a way we almost never do,” Laing explains. “It lets us see him vulnerable.”
Season 2 repeatedly returns to the emotional fallout of lives that no longer look the way they once imagined. Coop and Mel continue navigating the awkward realities of post-divorce life, discovering that ending a marriage doesn’t necessarily mean ending a relationship. Their daughter is preparing for college, forcing both parents to confront how quickly the years have passed and what comes next once their children no longer need them in the same way. Elsewhere, Barney wrestles with family expectations while trying to define success on his own terms, and Mel’s perimenopause storyline explores a stage of life that television rarely depicts with this level of honesty. The crimes, affairs, and betrayals provide plenty of entertainment, but the show’s emotional center comes from watching characters realize that reinvention is often far messier than they expected.
That balance between heightened drama and emotional authenticity is what allows “Your Friends & Neighbors” to succeed where many wealthy-people satires fall short. The characters often make terrible decisions. They can be selfish, reckless, and deeply flawed. Yet Laing and Tropper consistently refuse to treat them as caricatures. Instead, they remain recognizably human, driven by fears of irrelevance, loneliness, aging, and regret. As Laing puts it, “We all spend so much time defining ourselves by our jobs, our marriages, our status, our successes. Then suddenly one of those things disappears and you’re left asking, ‘Who am I now?'”
Laing recently spoke with Awards Focus about her expanded role on Season 2, collaborating with Tropper, directing the season’s standout funeral episode, crafting Amanda Peet’s nuanced perimenopause storyline, and finding humanity within one of television’s most dysfunctional neighborhoods. She also discussed shaping the show’s visual language, building some of Season 2’s most ambitious set pieces, and why audiences continue to see themselves in these characters despite the extraordinary world they inhabit.
Awards Focus: Nice to meet you, Stephanie. To start with Season 2, one thing I noticed is that your role expanded quite a bit compared to Season 1. Can you talk about that evolution and how many episodes you directed this season?
Stephanie Laing: I’ve known Jonathan Tropper since we worked on “Banshee” together, so we’ve known each other a long time. He brought me in during Season 1 to direct three episodes—Episodes 6, 7, and 8, including the boys’ night out episode that eventually spawned the Jon Hamm dance meme. Jonathan and I are very like-minded creatively. I always refer to “Your Friends & Neighbors” as “The Ice Storm” with a little bit of comedy sprinkled in. When I came in during Season 1, a lot of what we were focused on was tone.
I think it became obvious pretty quickly that we understood each other and collaborated really well together. He asked me to become an executive producer, and then for Season 2 I directed six episodes. I did the first two episodes, the middle two including the funeral episode, and then the final two episodes, Episodes 9 and 10.
AF: The tone of the show is fascinating because it’s actually difficult to describe. On one level it’s a family drama, but it’s also a crime story, a satire of wealth, and a character study. How do you describe what the show is trying to be as it moves into multiple seasons?
Laing: I find it tricky to describe too because it really is its own thing. Television has become so interesting because there are shows now that blend so many genres together. Jonathan’s writing is incredibly rich, and I think he’s created something that is, at its core, a family drama about a man having an identity crisis. At the same time, it’s examining wealth, wealth disparity, and these one-percenters who seem to have everything while still struggling with many of the same questions everyone else does.
What I can tell you is that we’re filming Season 3 right now, and last night we were shooting another party scene. We do really good parties on this show. For me, protecting the tone isn’t about leaning into any one genre. It’s about staying grounded in the characters. It’s about following all of these friends and neighbors as authentically as possible, especially Jon Hamm’s character, Coop, and watching how he evolves as he continues questioning the choices he’s made in his life.
AF: One of the things the show does so well is resist turning anyone into a clear hero or villain. Olivia Munn’s character evolves considerably from Season 1 to Season 2, while James Marsden arrives as a new antagonist. How conscious is that effort to keep the audience empathizing with everyone, even when they’re making terrible decisions?
Laing: I absolutely think everyone has flaws, and I absolutely think we want the audience to like them all. That’s real life. Neighbors move in, neighbors move out, and everybody brings baggage with them. I would say that’s very much part of the DNA of the show.
And as we know, there have already been some public cast announcements for Season 3, so there are some really interesting new people joining the neighborhood. We’re very excited about that.
AF: Jon Hamm’s character is constantly moving between different worlds. One moment he’s at the country club, the next he’s dealing with the criminal underworld. As a director, how do you make sure Coop never becomes a caricature of either world?
Laing: It starts with the writing, then with Jon’s performance, and then it’s about protecting the levels in the performance. We actually frame him differently depending on where he is. When he’s in the country club world, we shoot him one way. When he’s with Lou at the pawn shop, we shoot him another way.
I’m very conscious that a lot of the visual language of the show comes from Coop’s point of view because he’s our guide into this world. In Episode 6, when his father dies, I pitched Jonathan and Apple on the idea that we should experience masculine grief in a very visceral way. The script was incredible already, but I wanted to shoot it with very little coverage and almost entirely from his perspective. There are also moments where the camera feels untethered. We joked that maybe it was his father’s point of view, but really it was meant to capture that disembodied feeling that comes with losing a parent.
When we’re at the bowling alley, we get to see Coop simply as a father. There’s a little moment in the finale where he’s bowling and does a small dance, and I remember thinking, “Oh, that’s Coop as a dad.” Then we get to see him as a thief. He’s not even a particularly good thief. By Season 2 he’s completely outmatched by James Marsden’s character. A lot of that comes down to framing and making sure everything stays grounded. We never play the comedy as jokes. We play everything as real.
AF: That funeral episode stands out visually from almost anything else on television this year. When a show takes a midseason detour like that and focuses almost entirely on character rather than plot, what has to work in order for the audience to stay invested?
Laing: It’s tricky because you don’t want to lose people. You want them to come back the following week. For me, though, the risk is worth it if it allows the audience to fall more deeply in love with the character. That episode lets us see Coop with his walls down in a way we almost never do. It lets us see him vulnerable.
I think that’s important because the audience needs to be able to recognize parts of themselves in these characters. Sometimes viewers might say, “I wanted him robbing another house this week.” But our answer is, “Stay with us.” Let us show you another side of him. Trust that we’re building something that will pay off later. Even in Season 1, Episode 6 was a bit of a departure before all the worlds collided at Princeton. We like finding those opportunities to deepen the emotional connection before we push the story forward again.
AF: There’s a scene early in the season where Coop and Mel are sitting on the steps outside talking, and it struck me how much the show is really about aging and identity. Amanda Peet’s storyline around perimenopause, the kids getting older, and figuring out what’s next feels incredibly specific. How much of those long-term character arcs are mapped out in advance, and how much evolves season by season?
Laing: Jonathan is great about letting us know where we’re headed season by season. We knew where Season 2 was going when we started it, and we know where Season 3 ends because we’re filming it now. Beyond that, I’m sure Jonathan knows, but I honestly don’t.
We’ve also been incredibly lucky because Apple has renewed us early. Season 1 premiered on a Friday, and we started filming Season 2 that Monday. We were joking, “Hopefully people like this show because we’re already making another season.” There was only about a month between Seasons 2 and 3 where things slowed down. The writers’ room was back up and running almost immediately. Jonathan always has a strong sense of where the characters are headed, but he also leaves room for surprises along the way.
AF: Amanda Peet’s perimenopause storyline is something we rarely see explored on television, especially with this level of honesty. How did you approach those scenes to make sure they felt authentic rather than becoming purely comedic?
Laing: Amanda and I talked about it a lot. We both felt it was important that the storyline go beyond the surface-level jokes and really explore what that experience feels like. Amanda was completely fearless. She wanted to talk about all of it.
A lot of the details came from conversations between the two of us. We’re in a similar age range, so there were things I personally identified with. Even something as simple as the night sweats—we talked about making sure they didn’t all look the same. How do they evolve? How do they get progressively worse? How does that frustration build over time? We wanted to capture the feeling of losing control over something happening to your body.
At the same time, Amanda is naturally hilarious. There’s a moment where she steps in dog poop and scrapes her shoe across the lawn. That was her choice on the day, and I remember thinking, “That better make the final cut.” It’s funny because it’s so relatable. We never approached those scenes as jokes. We approached them as authentic moments, and the humor came naturally from the truth of the situation.
AF: Another storyline that feels refreshingly specific is Barney and Grace’s family dynamic. As an Asian American viewer, I appreciated how naturally those cultural details were woven into the story without ever calling attention to themselves. Where did that approach come from?
Laing: Jonathan has worked with Hoon Lee since “Banshee,” so they’ve known each other for a long time. I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn by saying that I know Jonathan specifically had Hoon in mind for that role.
What I love is exactly what you’re describing. We’re not drawing attention to any of it. We’re just presenting these characters as they exist. Barney’s relationship with his father-in-law becomes increasingly important, and as the season progresses, you start to see how much pressure he’s carrying. In some ways his storyline mirrors Coop’s. They’re both wrestling with questions about whether they’ve made the right choices in life and whether they’re enough.
For me, it always comes back to authenticity. We spent a lot of time talking about little details. How does Barney approach his father-in-law? How formal is he in certain situations? How does Eunice feel in different moments? We do a lot of deep dives into character on this show.
Even with supporting characters, I’m constantly thinking about who they are. Last night we were filming a party scene, and I spent a ridiculous amount of time asking myself, “What kind of party would this character throw?” Sometimes I feel like a crazy person because I’m inventing all these details, but they matter.
That’s exactly what happened with James Marsden’s big party in Season 2. I kept adding things that weren’t on the page. Women in giant illuminated bubbles. Stilt walkers. A violinist. A DJ. Just this collection of expensive, random things that didn’t really belong together. My logic was that if someone had unlimited money, they would just buy every interesting thing they liked. Then one of the performers told me she’d actually done the same act in front of a pyramid in Egypt for a billionaire, and I thought, “Okay, perfect. We nailed it.”
But with Barney and his family, it really comes down to authenticity. We frame him differently. We frame Grace differently. We frame his father-in-law differently. We’re always looking for ways to make each character feel distinct and specific to their own world.
AF: Speaking of distinct worlds, you also got to flex your action muscles a bit in Episode 9. Can you talk about putting together the confrontation inside Paul’s house and everything that follows?
Laing: Those sequences were incredibly fun to design. One of the things I love about working with Jonathan is that he’s always encouraging bigger ideas. He’ll bring something to the page and then say, “Okay, now what do you want to do with it?”
The original script had a simpler version of the fight. Paul falls into a table. It was effective, but I kept thinking, “What if this becomes a little more insane?” That’s where ideas like him shooting the flowers came from. They’re the same flowers he had brought Samantha earlier in the season, and now they become part of his downfall. I loved the absurdity of that. It’s violent, but it’s also darkly funny.
James was great. He kept asking, “Am I being too crazy?” And I kept saying, “No, you’ve earned this. We’ve been building toward this all season.” He needed to feel completely unhinged in that moment because ultimately he’s creating his own demise.
The car fight was another challenge. I ended up watching a bunch of videos about car jujitsu, which apparently is a real thing. Zach Galler and I were very deliberate about how we shot it. We wanted the audience trapped inside the chaos. Even the moment where Hoon’s head goes through the window was carefully choreographed because we knew we wanted to get a camera into the car.
The lake sequence was a whole other challenge. We shot part of it on location and part of it in a tank. What I really enjoyed was that I got to take these characters from dancing through New York and doing cocaine in Season 1 all the way to this completely out-of-control situation in Season 2. Watching them continue to make worse and worse decisions is part of what makes them so much fun. One of my favorite scenes in the entire season is actually afterward, when Olivia Munn and Jon Hamm are standing outside realizing they’ve somehow made everything even worse. It’s such a perfect moment for those characters.
AF: One of the things I appreciate about the show is that even with all the crime, affairs, and chaos, it never loses sight of what these characters are actually searching for. Is there a compliment you’ve received from a viewer or critic that made you feel like people really understood what you and Jonathan were trying to accomplish?
Laing: That’s a great question. I think the biggest compliment is when people tell me they see themselves in the show. Maybe they don’t live in that neighborhood or have that kind of money, but they recognize something about the characters. They recognize the fear of getting older, the fear of becoming irrelevant, the fear that maybe you’ve made the wrong choices.
One of the things I love about the show is that it’s really about identity. We all spend so much time defining ourselves by our jobs, our marriages, our status, our successes. Then suddenly one of those things disappears and you’re left asking, “Who am I now?” I think that’s something almost everyone can relate to.
I’ve also loved hearing people talk about Amanda’s storyline. Women have come up to me and said, “Thank you for showing that.” Those reactions mean a lot because it means we’re talking about things that aren’t always discussed openly.
AF: Since you’ve now directed so much of the series, do you find yourself thinking differently about the show than you did when you first came aboard in Season 1?
Laing: Definitely. In Season 1, I was coming in to direct a block of episodes and support Jonathan’s vision. Now I feel much more like a steward of the show.
I’ve spent so much time with these characters that I know how they think. I know how they move. I know what feels right and what doesn’t. It’s a really wonderful position to be in as a director because you get to help shape the language of the show over multiple seasons.
At the same time, I never want to become complacent. Every episode should feel like it has a reason to exist. Every episode should have something visually or emotionally interesting that we’re exploring. That’s what keeps it exciting.
AF: You’re now deep into Season 3. Without spoiling anything, what has excited you most about where the story goes next?
Laing: What excites me is that the show keeps evolving. Jonathan is never interested in repeating himself. Every season asks a different question.
I remember when we started Season 2, some people assumed it would just be more robberies. But that’s not what the season became. It became about consequences. It became about relationships. It became about identity. Season 3 continues pushing the characters into new territory.
I genuinely think the audience is going to be surprised. That’s probably all I can safely say.
AF: Well, congratulations on another great season. It’s one of those shows that becomes more interesting the longer it runs, which is actually pretty rare.
Laing: Thank you. That’s really nice to hear.